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Sickipedia

@Sickipedia
Channel's geo and language: not specified, English

The sickest, rudest, most offensive, inappropriate & politically incorrect jokes — we've got them all!

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Channel's geo and language
not specified, English
Category
Humor and entertainment
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Sickipedia

20 Apr, 09:01

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René Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

#other
@Sickipedia
457 0 7 15
Sickipedia

19 Apr, 18:01

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Jimmy's mom visits his school one day.

She meets Jimmy's teacher, and the teacher says he is the dumbest kid in the school. He scores the lowest in the class and is not interested in anything. His mother was so disappointed that she took Jimmy out of the school.

25 years later the teacher got very sick, and needed to be operated. She had a low chance of surviving the operation, but miraculously she survived, because of the doctors skills. Wanting to thank the doctor she asked to meet him

The doctor came to see her and smiled. The teacher started to say something, but suddenly gasped, turned blue raised her hands wanting to tell him something and died.

The doctor was shocked, still trying to understand what happened when he saw our olf friend Jimmy, who was now a cleaner at the hospital take out the plug for the oxygen machine and put his phone for charging.

Don't tell me you thought that Jimmy had become a Doctor.

#other
@Sickipedia
943 0 10 33
Sickipedia

19 Apr, 13:01

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Old man was sitting deep in thought at his 80th birthday party.

His grandson comes up to him and asked him what he was thinking about.

He thought for a moment then began:

"When I was your age Billy, when I got an erection, try as I might I couldn't bend it one bit!

Then in my 20s, I could bend it a bit, maybe 15 degrees. By my 40s I could bend it maybe 30, and in my 60s, it was half."

"Why are you thinking about that?" the grandson asked,

"Well, this morning I was able to fold it completely in half. Which is what I am wondering about. How much stronger am I going to get?"

#sexandshit
@Sickipedia
1.1k 0 11 27
Sickipedia

19 Apr, 09:01

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Which nation values skinny girls the most?
France. They all want to bone-a-petite

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
1.2k 0 22 41
Sickipedia

18 Apr, 19:01

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I'm glad I know a sign language.
It's quite handy.

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
1.3k 0 7 37
Sickipedia

18 Apr, 15:01

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A woman walks up to a bus stop to wait for a bus. The only other person waiting there is a guy wearing a ballerina outfit, full clown makeup and has an orange traffic cone on his head.

The woman tries to keep quiet but after a few minutes she can’t resist and asks the guy, “Hey, um…what’s with the outfit?”

“What do you mean?” he responds.

“Well, you’re wearing a tutu, clown makeup and you have a traffic cone on your head,” she says.

“Yeah,” he says casually. “It’s Wednesday. I always wear my ballerina outfit with my clown makeup and cone hat on Wednesdays.”

She replies, “It’s actually Tuesday today.”

“It’s Tuesday?!” the guy says. “Oh man…I must look like a fucking idiot.”

#other
@Sickipedia
1.4k 0 10 41
Sickipedia

18 Apr, 10:01

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An ecologist is giving a speech and says, "If we continue on our current course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years." A man in the audience stands up and hysterically asks, "What?! What did you say?!"
He repeats, "If humanity stays on its current course every living thing on earth will be gone in 50 years."
The man is relieved and sits down saying, "Whew. I thought you said FIFTEEN years."

#other
@Sickipedia
1.4k 0 5 28
Sickipedia

17 Apr, 18:01

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When my wife was in labor, I would tell her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused.
It must have been the delivery.

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
1.6k 0 16 34
Sickipedia

17 Apr, 14:01

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I really hate black holes
They just suck

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
1.7k 0 18 44
Sickipedia

17 Apr, 09:01

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Roman soldier says, "We lost a man and now number only 99". His centurion replies, "I see". The soldier responds...
No, XCIX

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
1.7k 0 16 38
Sickipedia

16 Apr, 18:01

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Dad: “How are your grades, son?”
Son: “They’re underwater, Dad.” Dad: “What do you mean, underwater?” Son: “They’re below C level”

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2k 0 20 54
Sickipedia

16 Apr, 14:01

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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
1.9k 0 18 45
Sickipedia

16 Apr, 09:01

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The cross-eyed teacher always have troubles to control his pupils

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.1k 0 8 48
Sickipedia

15 Apr, 18:01

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I wanted to tell you guys a joke about numerators and denominators
but only a fraction of you would get it.
P.S. I can tell you guys are going to be divided on this one!

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.3k 0 9 46
Sickipedia

15 Apr, 14:01

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What did the ocean say to the beach?
Can I crash here?

The beach said "Shore"

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.3k 0 15 50
Sickipedia

15 Apr, 14:01

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Why was the calendar terrified?
It knew its days were numbered.

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.2k 0 13 36
Sickipedia

15 Apr, 09:01

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My wife's upset with me again....
The other day we were nearing the end of our daily jog and she said "Do you fancy a race?" I said "Yeah, Asian. Great legs."

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.3k 0 22 45
Sickipedia

14 Apr, 18:01

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9 out of 10 puns don't make people laugh
But a pun in ten did.

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.4k 0 13 46
Sickipedia

14 Apr, 14:01

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What starts with a P & ends with an S and most men have them and most women want them?

Pockets.

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.4k 0 24 64
Sickipedia

14 Apr, 10:01

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs that's been hit by a car?

Still bloody no idea!!

#wordplay
@Sickipedia
2.4k 0 17 51
20 last posts shown.